Parents’ Toolkit and Netmums have come together to explore how parents can support their child amidst a growth in mental health issues in young people.
Last year we commissioned a poll of over 2,000 parents about child mental health – one of the starkest results was that 49% of those surveyed thought there was stigma around your child having a mental health problem.
In this film, Dr Ranj and clinical experts from Netmums discuss these findings and where to go for help. With Jennifer Howze, Netmums Editorial Director and Cathy Parsley, a Netmums Parent Supporter with expertise in child mental health.
Dr Ranj: Hi, I’m Dr Ranj and today I’m here with Jennifer Howze and Cathy Parsley. They’ve recently partnered with Parents’ Toolkit, to conduct a poll of over 2000 parents of primary school children across the UK. So, let’s get stuck in.
Dr Ranj: Jennifer, Cathy, thank you so much for joining us today. I want to kick off with a really important statistic that really stands out; ‘63% of parents say that mental health was never discussed when they were children either at home or when they were at school’. Now, I certainly count myself amongst that group – we never talked about mental health when I was a child until my mum was at crisis point. Why do we think that we have this kind of reluctance, or hesitation, to talk about mental health issues?
Cathy: So, it’s only literally as recently as maybe 30 years ago, when the actual treatment for mental health was so different. Maybe our grandparents’ generation were really fearful and obviously that’s going to be passed down to our parents’ generation. We’ve kind of got to make sure our parents know that it’s okay to talk as well, because there’s no point us trying to tell our children ‘Yes, go home, talk about it' and then…
Dr Ranj: When we haven’t addressed those problems that came before that!
Cathy: Exactly! Exactly that, yeah. We’ve had obviously lockdown, which has had a massive impact on children, that we’re kind of seeing in the forum – parents coming to say, you know, their children are feeling overly anxious about certain things.
Dr Ranj: So this is something we’ve certainly seen in hospitals and healthcare settings. We’ve seen many more younger people hitting crisis point. So many of those support mechanisms that they used to have, went.
Jennifer: Child mental health before COVID, it wasn’t really even the top three things that parents worried about. And now, it’s really above education and in some ways physical health.
Dr Ranj: So there’s always been this stigma, hasn’t there? Throughout the generations. Perhaps more so in the past than there has been now, but there’s definitely still around.
Jennifer: Almost 50% of parents across the UK said that they felt there was still a stigma in relation to a child having a mental health problem. I think that sense that your child might be judged, or even a label that they start to think ‘there’s something wrong with me’.
Dr Ranj: Worryingly, one in four parents wouldn’t talk about their child’s mental health within their own family.
Dr Ranj: Cathy, where else can parents turn to get that help and support?
Cathy: Your GP is obviously a great place to try first. You’ve got young minds, NSPCC, we’ve got the NHS – your health visitor is there till your child’s the age of five, and I think we forget that sometimes.
Jennifer: People are finding it hard to get in to visit a GP, we know about the NHS waiting lists, we always think the Netmums forum and the drop-in clinic, which is online and available 24 hours a day, is a great place to start, because we not only have a community there that’s very welcoming and supportive, but we have our parent support service, that has trained and expert folks there. Don’t be afraid to try lots of different resources to keep going, until you find the one that’s right for your child and your family.
Dr Ranj: Some really useful information in there. But, if you want more advice on this topic, then please check out the BBC Bitesize Parents’ Toolkit website.
63% of parents say that mental health was never discussed when they were children, either at home or at school
Reflecting on this statistic, from our poll of over 2,000 parents of primary-aged children, Dr Ranj says he would count himself in this group - "We never talked about mental health when I was a child, until my mum was at crisis point."
Cathy recognises that the treatment for mental health has changed significantly in the last 30 years and that there might have been a great deal of fear around mental health in our grandparents' generation, which is passed down.
However, she also explains that, since the lockdowns of 2020 and 2021, they are seeing more parents opening up in their forums about their child mental health and anxiety.

"Child mental health before COVID, it wasn’t really even the top three things that parents worried about. And now, it’s really above education and in some ways physical health." - Jennifer
Some other findings from the poll include…
- Nearly three quarters of the parents we spoke to said that they worry about their child's mental health at least some of the time
- One in four parents wouldn't talk about their child's mental health within their own family
- However, nine out of ten parents now say they are confident speaking to their child about mental health

Where can parents get support?
Of course, the best place to start is your GP, but parents can also find support with charities like NSPCC and Young Minds.
Netmums host an expert parent support service, which is open 24 hours a day, alongside their regular online drop-in clinics - visit this page to explore further.
The BBC Bitesize Action Line has links to organisations that can offer support for children and their carers.
BBC Bitesize Parents' Toolkit has lots of resources to help you support your child's wellbeing and learning, including articles on starting an open conversation with your child and techniques for managing anxiety.

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